“Love and accept yourself for who you are…”
Today I want to talk to you about one of the most important relationships you can have… the relationship
you have with yourself!
Now I know that might sound a bit vain and self-centered but think about it… if you don’t firstly fill
yourself up with love then how do you expect it to overflow into the lives of those around you? The best
way to heal your relationship with yourself is to start loving yourself up and I’m going to show you just
how to do it.
I grew up in a very loving and supportive family environment and as a little girl I was bursting with
confidence. However, like most girls at the age of about 13 I became more aware of my appearance and
for the first time in my life I tuned into that negative voice… I’m sure you know the one I’m talking about,
it’s the voice that says horrible things like “You’re not pretty enough” or “You’re not skinny enough”… it’s
all lies but unfortunately I listened to that voice for many years and believed every single negative word it
spoke into my life! My self-esteem and confidence began to drop and it didn’t take long before I became a
very insecure and unhappy little person.
I internalised my pain and thought that if I could look perfect from the outside then I would feel great on
the inside… The problem was that it didn’t matter how much make-up I put on, what outfit I wore or even
how skinny I got, I still didn’t feel good about myself! I had to let go of judgment and learn how to stop
being so critical towards myself. I swapped the internal negative self-talk for words of positivity and
praise and very slowly I began to re-build my confidence. I can honestly say it is the most freeing,
wonderful feeling once you can accept and love who you are!
10 Steps to Healing Your Relationship with Yourself…
1. Start by answering this question… Do you love who you are?
If you can honestly say “Heck YES!!!” then I am super happy for you and I now give you permission
to skip to my next article, but if you’re not feeling the love, then please keep reading babe, cause
we’re about to fix that!
2. Can you pin-point the exact moment you fell out of love with yourself? Maybe it all started from
one negative comment that you took to heart and it sent you spiraling into a world of self-loathing
or perhaps you liked someone but felt rejection instead of love and acceptance and therefore
thought that maybe you’re just not good enough as you are… however it came about try to
remember what triggered this negative self-talk and feelings of “not good enough” in the first
3. Now try to remember exactly how it felt in that moment. Close your eyes if that helps and allow
yourself to fully feel all of those emotions.
4. In a world that teaches us to always have it together and put on a happy face it can be so hard to
express our true emotions but it’s so important for the healing process if you do! Give yourself
permission to be vulnerable and release those thoughts and feelings. Let it all out and cry as much
as you need to!
5. Make a list of all the negative things you think about yourself and tell yourself on a daily basis…
looking at that list, could you ever imagine saying those things to someone else? Probably not
right! So why on earth would you tell them to yourself?!
6. Now I want you to start crossing out each one of those negative comments on your list and
replacing it with something that you love about yourself. It could be your eye colour, your laugh or
maybe the way you did your hair this morning… have fun with it, I’m sure you’ll find lots of things!
7. Now remember how it felt before you first heard that negative voice. That’s what you want to get
back to, only this time you’re going to feel even better!
8. Pin that love-list onto your mirror to remind yourself every day just how beautiful and unique you
9. Stop comparing yourself to others or worrying about what other people think about you.
10. Stop being so self-critical and judgmental – learn to love and accept yourself exactly as you are.
So babe, if you’re ready to start loving yourself up but you’re in need of a little self-love inspiration, here’s
a few ideas for you!
My Top 10 Tips:
1. Pin up your favorite affirmation cards and say them to yourself in the mirror every morning. (I
know you’re going to feel a little silly at first, but just try it anyway!)
2. Have a pamper day and spoil yourself with something you wouldn’t normally do
3. Take some time-out to rest and relax (I love to lay in the sun and soak up some Vitamin D)
4. Buy something new, just for you
5. Read a book or magazine that inspires you
6. Have a bubble bath and enjoy a cup of herbal tea or glass of organic wine!
7. Buy yourself a bunch of fresh flowers to brighten your day
8. Treat yourself to a relaxation massage with essential oils
9. Do your favourite workout to music that energises you
10. Go to a café you love and indulge in a healthy treat
We are so bombarded by the media with unrealistic images of how we should look it’s no wonder our
self-esteem takes a bit of a hit every now and then. I think far too often we forget to look deep within
ourselves and remember just how incredibly beautiful we are at the core of our existence. I don’t want
you to ever feel like you aren’t enough because the truth is you are more than enough, exactly as you are
and you are completely worthy of love without having to change a thing!
So gorgeous, if you can relate and sometimes think that you’re just not good enough, then chances are you have a bestie that feels exactly the same way! I want to encourage you to see your true
worth and value your incredible beauty because it is unique to you. If you have a girlfriend that needs to be reminded just how special she is, then please feel free to share this article with her.
P.s – I’d love to see how you love yourself up this week, take a pic and tag me in it when you share
your post on Facebook or Instagram! @kathryn.chandler #kathrynchandlerrelationships